Pros & Cons of Visiting the U.S. for 6 Weeks After Moving to Spain

In one week, we’ll be on our way back to Alicante, where we moved sight-unseen in January. But for the last 6 weeks or so, we’ve been back home in Kansas City — and it (obviously) felt so normal to be back here that it almost made me wonder whether we’d actually even moved to Spain. Or did I dream it?

Moving to another country takes quite a bit of adjustment as you learn to adapt to another way of life. And it turns out the same is true even when you come back to your home country. All the things I enjoy the most about living in Spain — I’m missing those a lot right now, and I’m looking forward to going back. But I’m also loving the fact that I can see all my friends and family so easily. So, like anything else, there have been plenty of pros and cons.

Here are the pros and cons of visiting the U.S. for six weeks after moving to Spain.

Pro: Seeing my family and friends

I’m extremely close with my family, so I miss them more than anything else anytime I’m away from them. The primary reason we came back to the U.S. this spring was for my youngest sister’s college graduation, but this six-week period also included Mother’s Day, my dad’s birthday, my grandma’s birthday, my brother-in-law’s birthday, my younger niece’s first birthday, my sister’s birthday, my older niece’s birthday, and Father’s Day. I’ve loved getting to spend so much time with everyone and dropping by my parents’ house whenever I want.

It’s also been so good to see our friends. When you move somewhere new and you see big groups of friends having dinner or hanging out, it can make you feel lonely, missing your own friends and wishing you hadn’t left them behind. We’ve been able to have dinners, game nights, bonfires, soccer games, and karaoke nights with our friends in the last six weeks and it’s been awesome.

Con: Missing my new friends in Alicante

We might not have as many friends in Spain as we do in KC, but we still have made some really good friends in Alicante! And we were getting to the point where we were hanging out multiple times a week, getting drinks or tapas or just sitting and talking. It sucks to feel like we lost some of our momentum and I was a little bit worried they were going to forget us while we were gone.🥲 Though they have assured us that’s not the case, lol.

Pro: Being on the same hours as everyone else

Spain is 7 hours ahead of Kansas City, which means if I want to talk to someone from home, I have to keep the time difference in mind. And since we work U.S. hours in Spain, it means a 4 p.m. CST meeting starts at 11 p.m. in Central European Time. This doesn’t happen to me as much, but sometimes Matt has meetings that start at midnight. At the very least, I’m constantly having to do time-zone math in my head when I’m trying to schedule something with someone from home. So being back in Kansas City, it’s nice to just know that 4 p.m. means 4 p.m. and it’s one less thing I have to think about.

Con: Working 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

So, working U.S. hours while we’re in Spain means that our workday starts at 3 p.m. and ends at midnight. It sounds like it sucks, but I actually love it. I love having all morning until 3 p.m. to do whatever I want before sitting down and starting work.

And considering that I love that schedule, I am absolutely hating the fact that I’ve had to work regular hours while I’m home. I feel like I have no time for myself until after dinner, and at that point I’m tired and don’t wanna do anything except lay on the couch and stare at screens of varying sizes. I feel like my schedule in Spain was much better on my mental health because I was able to more easily prioritize personal and work tasks by compartmentalizing my time — something I can’t do on this dumbass American schedule.

Pro: Living in our own house

Matt bought our house back in 2019, and I’ve lived with him since 2020. In all that time, it’s been nice to slowly make the house into a place that is truly ours. We know we can paint, install shelves, nail stuff into the wall, and all that good stuff. It brings a level of comfort that we don’t necessarily have in our apartment in Alicante — in fact, we haven’t even hung anything on the walls because I feel scared about making nail holes, and Command Strips don’t seem to exist in Spain. (I stocked up at Target and they are in my suitcase for the trip back.)

Besides that, it’s kind of nice to just have all of our own stuff. We have all our kitchen gadgets and utensils, all our clothes, all the random tools you might need to accomplish any specific task. In Spain, we have to buy everything, and we haven’t bought everything yet.

Con: Having to take care of our house (and other sucky adult responsibilities)

Guess what happened the very first week we were back in our own home? The furnace and A/C went out, so we called a repairman, and they informed us that this particular furnace model had been recalled like 30 years ago. Long story short, we had to buy a new system for the low, low price of… $10,088. 🙃

While we tried to make the best of the situation and use the high price tag as an excuse to open a new travel credit card, thus immediately earning the spending bonus, it sucks. It also sucked that, when we drove to Wichita for my sister’s graduation, the car’s alternator died which meant $600 for a tow and $600 for a new alternator. Just last week, another mystery light illuminated the car’s dashboard. We’ll see what happens with that. But all these adult responsibilities are something we don’t have to deal with in Spain.

Pro: Feeling comfortable everywhere

The first moment that I realized I could relax being back in the U.S. was one day after we arrived back in Kansas City. Matt and I were waiting for our friend to come jump our car (for the second time that day) and I was standing in a parking spot in front of our car, trying to make sure no one else parked there so our friend could pull in when he arrived. As I stood there, I caught myself practicing in my head — what would I say if I car pulled up and wanted to park where I was standing? As I searched for the words in Spanish, I realized I was in the U.S. and could just speak English. I would be understood with no problem.

Going into every interaction in the U.S., I typically know exactly what is expected of me, what to say, and how to act. In Spain, I’m often figuring things out as I go. Or I’m just straight up crying in the bank because I’ve been waiting for an hour, no one knows how to help me, and I’m having a hard time explaining what I need. I didn’t move to another country because it was easy — I like the challenges — but it’s been nice to be able to relax for a while.

Con: Not speaking Spanish

I started learning Spanish during freshman year of high school in 2007 and studied it in school until I graduated from college in 2015. Since then, all of my learning has been a result of moving to Spain for the first time in 2018 and again now. While I’ve come a long way, I still want to get so much better. And the process of learning by speaking/interacting can be really uncomfortable and painful, but I still love it. I’m making my brain stronger, I’m growing as a person, and I think it’s really cool that I can speak in another language!

So being back in the U.S., I’m worried that I’m losing the progress I’ve made. Before we came back, I told Matt we were going to have a Spanish-only coffee date every weekend, but we’ve only done it once so far. With all the other responsibilities, it just hasn’t been as big of a priority as some other things, so when the weekend gets busy it’s usually the first thing to get scheduled over. I’m still proud of us for doing it once, though.

And I’ve been watching TV in Spanish with Spanish subtitles, so I’m hoping that counts for something. 🤷‍♀️

Pro: Getting to be kitten foster parents

In our apartment in Alicante, we are not allowed to have pets. It’s not a big deal because we don’t have a pet of our own right now, but the last couple of years in Kansas City, we’ve been fostering kittens for a local animal shelter. And it is one of my favorite things! So when I knew we’d be home for six weeks, I let the shelter know that we were available. The last few weeks, we’ve been sharing our home with little Walnut and Almond, and they are precious, and hopefully this kitty fix will last me a few more months.

Con: Driving everywhere

I hate the reliance on cars in American society. Every trip in the car feels like it’s such a hassle, plus the fact that I pretty much feel like I’m risking my life every time we have to drive somewhere. I don’t know if drivers have gotten worse since we left or if I’m just not as used to it anymore, but I feel like driving is straight up dangerous these days. Just last week, in one 20-minute drive into downtown Kansas City, I witnessed three red lights being run, two cars tailgating me within an inch of my life, and one car attempting to change lanes into me.

I am desperately missing my walks to the grocery store, walks to the gym, walks to our friends’ house, walks to the beach, walks to the bar… and getting like 7,000 steps a day without even trying. Here, I’m lucky if I get like 500 on a typical day, so I’ve been going out of my way to walk through our neighborhood (hilly, with no sidewalks, dangerous thanks to the drivers mentioned above) or walk on the treadmill at Planet Fitness (literally not even in the same category as a beachfront walk in Spain).

Pro: Having a dishwasher and dryer

There are some American appliances that are hard to let go of when you move abroad, and a dishwasher and dryer are two of them. Our Spanish apartment doesn’t have either. Honestly, living without a dishwasher and a dryer hasn’t been as bad as I expected it to be. When you have a tiny sink, the dishes really can’t pile up because there’s no space, so it’s easy to stay on top of them. And without a dryer, you have to hang-dry all your clothes, which really isn’t that big of a deal.

But I’ve gotten used to the dishwasher and dryer again. I love that I don’t have to hand-wash every dish to perfect cleanliness and then stack them to dry with water running down my wrists. And I never have to worry about whether I need to bring the laundry in early because it looks like it might rain.

Con: Tipping culture

We’re going out to dinner with friends tonight, and I already know that the bill is going to be like $50 for two of us, even if we only order (free) water as our drink. Sure, our meals might only be like $16.99 each, but then by the time you add on tax and tip, it gets a lot more expensive. On top of that, a beer runs for about $7. Spain would never!

I remember a few months ago, not too long after moving to Spain, we went out with four friends in Alicante. We had all dinner at a new Vietnamese restaurant in town and split like four bottles of wine between the six of us. Then, we went to another bar and had a few drinks each. Because splitting the bill isn’t as typical in Spain, one person paid for everything at both places and we all paid him back. The next day, we got the Bizum (similar to Venmo) request: it was a total of $25 per person. Meanwhile, Matt went out for a couple beers with two friends here in KC last week and after just a few drinks his bill was $60.

I understand that servers/bartenders need tips because of the pay structure… but what if (and hear me out)… companies just paid servers a living wage from the start, like most other places in the world?!

 

As you can see, there are lots of mixed feelings about being home and going back to Spain. I feel like this is my destiny for maybe the rest of my life? But it’s the life I chose, so here I am.

What do you think about my list? Have you felt the same way or do you disagree? Let me know in the comments!

-Cathy

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