I first visited Paris in the summer of 2011, right after graduating from high school, on my first-ever trip to Europe. After spending a few weeks in Germany with my boyfriend at the time, we boarded a tour bus in Stuttgart for the 10-hour ride to Paris. I remember visiting Notre Dame, being amazed by the Eiffel Tower, drinking wine on a Seine River cruise (so scandalous for an 18-year-old), and generally having a good time.
Since that was my first big trip outside the U.S., I was so curious about visiting Paris again with a different perspective — the perspective of someone who’s now visited 31 countries and countless major cities around the world. I was excited to go with Matt, too! But when we told people about our plans to visit Paris, we heard a few variations of this sentiment: “The people in Paris are so mean.”
The French Reputation
I’d been to France a few times in the last few years — Lyon, Carcassonne, Toulouse, and Bordeaux — and I couldn’t recall any negative experiences. So maybe it really would be just a Parisian thing? With the way the U.S. is handling things right now, I could definitely conceive of a world in which Americans particularly could be targets for rudeness.
Another common line we heard from people we know, as well as online, was this: “Don’t even try to speak French in Paris. They’ll roll their eyes at you, and be super rude, and tell you that you’re butchering their beautiful language, so you better just stop trying.”
I was wondering whether it would be better to pretend to only speak Spanish instead of English. Whether I should even make an attempt at the few French words I know, or just come straight out with English?
Despite a little bit of nervousness, we set out for our trip from Alicante to Paris… and not one person was mean to us in the entire four and a half days we were there. 🤩
Our Approach To Interacting With Parisians
Ok, so I definitely think the Parisian reputation for being rude/mean is overblown. I think some people — as you’ll find in pretty much any subsection of a population — are probably not very friendly. And I also think that some tourists to Paris probably deserve it if they’re acting obnoxiously.
Of course, Matt and I try to be friendly and respectful travelers everywhere we go, so being in Paris was no different. And we kind of unofficially decided that when we went into a restaurant or boulangerie, we wouldn’t immediately ask “Parlez-vous anglais?” or “Do you speak English?”
We just said, “Bonjour! Deux cafe au lait, un pain Suisse, et un quiche chevre.”
(“Hello! Two coffees with milk, with one Swiss bread and one goat cheese quiche.”)
That might sound super difficult, but it was really just saying “Bonjour” (which I think everyone can manage to say) and then reading what we wanted out of the pastry display case. I didn’t know many of those words before getting there.
And yes, we were butchering their beautiful language. But they didn’t seem to care. So we just followed this formula, trying our best in French, wherever we were, and not expecting them to switch to English. 75% of the time, they just continued talking to us in French. And yeah, when we went to a brewery I ended up with a beer that wasn’t quite what I had wanted to order. But it was completely fine.
It was funny because we went to the same boulangerie near our hotel every morning for breakfast, trying our best to order in French each time. While we were sitting down with our food, we heard an American come in and immediately ask “Do you speak English?” and the staff switched to English. But I thought it was cool they didn’t feel compelled to do that with us, especially because they clearly could have if they wanted to. Or if we wanted them to.
Do Parisians Hate Americans?
One night we were in the 19th arrondissement and stopped in a restaurant for dessert. When an English-speaking waiter attended us, he asked where we were from, and then exclaimed: “I LOVE Americans!” At another restaurant, in which the waiters spoke no English, our shared smiles were the only language we needed. And then they gave us cognac shots for seemingly no reason at the end of dinner, on the “maison.”
So no, I don’t think Parisians hate Americans. I think they probably get tired of the American attitude of entitlement, of the expectation that everyone should just speak English because they speak English. And if there’s a stereotype that French people don’t want their beautiful language in your dirty American mouth, I think this is completely wrong. More Americans SHOULD try to speak French, or speak the language of the places they’re traveling.
In fact, this whole experience has made me think more about how I can try to speak more of other languages when I travel in the future. I would say that I felt semi-comfortable doing this in France because of my familiarity with Spanish, which also applies when I’m in Italy or Portugal. And I’ve also got a decent hold on some German basics (refer to the first paragraph of this article). But what if I’d tried Polish when we were in Wroclaw in December? What if I try Japanese when we’re in Tokyo in September?
The worst that can happen is that maybe you end up with the “wrong” beer.
French Words To Know Before Visiting Paris
So, here are the words that we used most often to help us interact with Parisians, especially in the realm of being in restaurants and ordering food. I’m excited to learn some of these phrases in other languages as well for the future!
- Hello/Good day: Bonjour
- Good night: Bonne soirée, bonsoir
- Goodbye: Au revoir
- Please: S’il vous plaît
- Thank you: Merci, merci beaucoup
- To eat: Manger
- To drink: Boire
- For takeaway: À emporter
- For here: Sur place
- To order: Commander
- Ready: Prêt
- Hot (like you want a pastry warmed up): Chaud
- The check/bill: L’addition
- Cash: Espèces
- Credit card: Carte
- Other helpful words/phrases: et (and), avec (with), ici (here), seulement (only)
Just don’t ask me for a pronunciation guide for any of these. 😉
Final Thoughts on Parisians
We were pleasantly surprised by how friendly everyone was, and by how far just having a basic French vocabulary got us! I’ll definitely be pushing back on those stereotypes that I hear about Parisians being mean.
However, I also have to mention that not everyone’s experience might be the same as ours. Being white, cisgender, and able-bodied, we are able to move through the world with a lot of privilege, which also impacts the way that people treat us. Paris has a lot of diversity, but I’m sure it’s not free of discrimination — unfortunately, nowhere is. But I certainly hope that everyone can have as amazing of a time in Paris as we did.
Plan Your Paris Trip
Best Paris Hotels: Paris France Hotels
Things To Do in Paris: Eiffel Tower Reserved Access Summit or 2nd Floor Guided by Lift // Louvre Museum – Exclusive Guided Tour (Reserved Entry Included) // Paris Seine River Dinner Cruise with Live Music by Bateaux Mouches // Paris Walking Food Tour with Secret Food Tours
Alright, so now you know my verdict on the question of whether Parisians are mean… and I say, this is just a stereotype! Try speaking some French and really give it your best shot, and I think they’ll be thankful. But, what do you think? Do you agree with me, or have you had a different experience? Let me know in the comments!
-Cathy
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